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making the online world real

Many kids online don’t think of the internet as the real world. Often they adapt different personas altogether. They don’t think about the ramifications that their behavior online could have in the physical world that we live in.

That’s why I was happy to see an article talking about a presentation that a team of middle school students in Jamestown, ND made to their classmates. The kids are part of iSAFE, a non-profit foundation whose goal is to educate students on how to avoid dangerous, inappropriate, or unlawful online behavior. iSAFE takes a unique approach by creating and distributing K-12 curriculum and community outreach programs to parents, law enforcement and community leaders.

The iSAFE team, made up of 3 students, made a presentation, including a skit, based on the true story of Christina Long, a young girl who was killed by an internet predator. Through the use of the skit, actual news coverage and interviews with Christina’s family, and guest speakers, the team was able to show students how even the most innocuous comments online can leave a trail of clues about you, where you live, your hobbies and your daily schedule.

I think this was great for two reasons. One it translated online behavior to offline consequences. And it also got people involved in internet safety from all levels. Rather than the middle school students simply listening to yet another lecture from an adult, they became active participants. I think more schools and families need to learn from this.

In fact, iSAFE offers training and programs for parents, educators and law enforcement as well as kids of all ages. If you’re a parent who wants to be active in your community and share your knowledge of internet safety, you can become involved with iSAFE. After all, don’t you want all children to be safe online? I know I do.

 

legislating the lives of predators

I was just reading that the state of New York is currently considering legislation called the Electronic Security and Targeting of Online Predators Act (e-STOP). The goal is to force sex offenders to register their online information, such as email addresses and screen names, just as they do now with their physical address and phone number. In fact, you can search Family Watchdog’s site to see who lives or works near you with prior convictions of crimes against children, rape, sexual battery and more. New York also has its own registry, as do the other states.

I know that the lawmakers are doing this in the best interest of the children. But what about the people out there who haven’t committed a crime yet but are working towards it, perhaps grooming your child to be their first? Or what about those who are already committing crimes but just haven’t been caught yet? And, have you ever gotten an email address? I have several and it is very easy to acquire new ones and new screen names. Predators could use one to comply with the law and another one to communicate with your kids. You as a parent can make a much bigger difference than a law that is difficult, if not impossible, to enforce.

Yes, it’s hard to think about this but the reality is that to protect your children you must be able to deal with unpleasant issues like this. When you talk to them about what is ok and not ok in the physical world, make the connection to the online world at the same time. Let them know to not talk to strangers online, just as they wouldn’t when they are in the mall. And it’s ok to block instant messaging users who make them uncomfortable.

Unfortunately our government cannot be all things to all people. Parents need to step-up and take responsibility for keeping their children safe, online and off. If you do, you’ll sleep better at night.

Quick side note: isn’t the government great at creating acronyms?

how to be everywhere at once

The web just isn’t what it used to be. No more is it simply email and passive reading of websites. Today there are more things than ever to do online. Social networking, chat, instant messaging, gaming, music, movies, videos, shopping and the list grows everyday. As a parent, where should you focus your efforts to keep your children safe online where it will make the most impact?

Most parents would concentrate on social networking sites. According to a study released last week by Internet Solutions for Kids, Inc., more kids are being harassed and sexually solicited in chat rooms and through instant messaging than on social networking sites like Facebook and myspace.

I’m not saying that these sites should be ignored. The study was conducted in 2006 and use of social networking has been growing tremendously, on Facebook alone, usage increased 270% from 2006-2007. 

I’m sure by now you’re thinking, “gosh, how can I be everywhere at once?” You may not be able to watch your children every minute they are online, and you shouldn’t have to. Instead, you can use an internet monitoring product.

When you are evaluating your options, be sure to see what the capabilities are. These should include monitoring of chat, instant messaging, social networking sites and general websites viewed. In addition you should have the ability to block people from communicating with your child. Another great feature to have is the ability to see the information collected without logging into their computer and being notified if your child is in a potentially dangerous situation so that you can act upon the information is necessary.

the double life your kids lead

Never a large watcher of PBS, at least not since I watched Sesame Street growing up, I was amazed to be on the PBS site the other day and find a series, Growing Up Online, that features stories about growing up online from your children’s point of view.

Being that I work at McGruff SafeGuard, I know that bad things happen to kids online. I wish these things didn’t but I can’t stop it. But I can help you, a parent, understand what’s happening and how you can help keep your family safe.

The Growing Up Online series is a great primer for parents as a real-life introduction to what kids go through everyday. And you can watch all six chapters online. It will help you understand why the internet is so important to your kids. They view it as a continuation of their offline lives. A place they can be themselves.

If you have older children, middle school and up, I recommend watching it with them. Discuss the stories with them. Talk about what is and isn’t allowed in your family. Talk about what your kids should do in the situations that are featured. And let them know there are many other things that may happen while they are online.

When watching the series, I was amazed by how much the parents could have learned about their kids lives by simply monitoring the family’s internet use. Things like anorexia, cyberbullying, sex, underage drinking, social networking, and more. Things that if parents knew they could address and get help for. In one of the cases featured, if the parents knew their son was being cyberbullied, they could have prevented his suicide.

Feel free to watch the series and let me know if there are issues you’d like me to discuss further. And, of course comments are always welcomed.

The nightmare next door

Allen Kauffman, a small-town mayor and church pastor, seems like the perfect man to have as a neighbor. Maybe he is in the physical world, but not in the virtual one.

In his virtual identity, he is a suspected pedophile and was recently arrested and charged with four counts of felony enticement of a child. Who was the child? Was it your 13-year-old girl? Could she have been the one he was trying to convince to send naked pictures and more of herself to him?

If it was your child, you might not know this was happening. You may assume your children are too innocent to partake in this type of activity or that if it happens they will tell you about it. Are you sure? Only 25% of children do. Are you sure enough to lay their lives on the line?

Fortunately Mr. Kauffman was arrested due to conversations with a decoy, Jim Murray, a 69-year-old retired police chief. And hopefully the justice system will make sure that he Mr. Kauffman can never again harm a child.

Like it or not, things like this happen every day on the internet. And just because you have a boy, your child isn’t exempt. Boys of all ages are solicited online just like girls.

You as a parent can and should take action to make sure that your child doesn’t become a victim. An easy way to keep an eye on what your kids are doing online is to install parental monitoring/control software. One such software, McGruff SafeGuard, is available free to families to help them stay safe online. By knowing what your kids are doing online, if they do run into trouble, you’ll be able to help them before it’s too late.